User reviews tend to have their place in our every day lives. They’re typically poorly written and uninformative, but if you read enough of them the sum of their parts can offer a helpful perspective on the product you’re considering.

Amazon.com is a massive, sprawling wonderland of goods and deals. Some operate under the misconception that everything sold by Amazon comes from one of their enormous warehouses, but plenty of other retailers and small businesses use Amazon as a vessel for sales as well. It’s for this reason that we occasionally see products spring up that are less… practical than one might be used to. Some might be related to video games, some aren’t. Please enjoy this list of funny Amazon product reviews arranged for your entertainment.

1. Samsung Framed 85-Inch 4K Ultra HD TV

Price: $39,997.99  (currently $5,002.00 off)

Average Rating: 4 out 5 stars

Behold, the ultimate in displays of excess. This is an 85-Inch 4K Ultra Megatron eye-smashing behemoth that will only set you back the cost of a new luxury automobile. There are 2,013 reviews for this beauty, which is surprising because one might assume this TV would be far out of reach for most of us.

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2. Privacy One – Xbox One

Price: $14.88

Average Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Do you believe the government to be spying on you? Are you rightfully creeped out by the Kinect’s ever watchful eye gazing at you during even your most private of moments? The aptly named “Privacy One” has you covered. Slip this baby over your camera for instant protection. Throwing a shirt over it will also suffice.

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3. Waterfall Audio “Niagara” Diamond Glass Floor Standing Loudspeakers – Pair (Old Version)

Price: $47,847.13 ($6,152.82 off)

Average Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

The manufacturer’s description declares this to be an “imposing Diamond Glass tower of sound.” Holy. Crap. You need this. You should be so lucky to hear but a light twinkle emanating from the special “Horn Tweeters” of this device. I don’t know what a horn tweeter is but it sounds sexy. Act now and you can save $6,152.82 on the original price of $53,999.95. These speakers also have the unique ability of being able to slay White Walkers.

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4. Ultra Green Glominex Extreme Glow in the Dark Premium Paint (4 Gallons)

Price: $1,499.98 + $3.50 shipping

Average Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

I don’t want to know what any one human being needs with FOUR GALLONS of glow in the dark paint. How is it even legal to sell this product in such aggressively large quantities? You’ll be happy to know that while painting your entire house with radioactive glow in the dark paint will cost $1,499, they’re only hitting you with a $3.50 shipping fee.  Thank the LORD. This was just about to go over budget for my next extreme home makeover. A quick note about this one: I only used this review in my decision to go with a different brand.

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5. Relaxman Relaxation Capsule

Price: $49,995.00 + $2,500 shipping

Average Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Good news, weirdos! The RELAXMAN (pronounced re-lax-mun) is here. This humble device finally gives you a proper place to catch some shut-eye in case a bed is no longer sufficient to support your reclusive and concerning personality. This look into the future of humanity will only set you back $49,995. Don’t expect Relaxman to cover your shipping costs, you peasant. That will bring your total to $52,499. Experience the equivalent of sleeping in your own coffin today.

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We have to do more of these again soon.

About The Author

John

John is a full-time web developer who writes and streams for multitoad.com. He started Multitoad with Luke "Yogzula" VanTrieste. John loves multiplayer gaming, his wife (known around the site as Queenie), his dog (Marble), horror movies, and sitting down with a nice craft beer. If you want to contact the author of this post, feel free to do so on the community forums.

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