A lot has been made of the recent emergence of Youtube Gaming– Google’s answer to Twitch and what the company hopes will become a serious and lucrative competitor in the real-time game streaming arena.

Unfortunately for Google, the major obstacle facing them seems to be YouTube’s notorious Content ID feature. Content ID scans YouTube videos for copyrighted content. If it notices you using something like a song in your video whose copyright belongs to someone else it can block your video in specific regions, it can block it everywhere, or it can force you to split advertising revenue with the copyright owner. It’s a roundly despised feature around the YouTube creator community.

YouTube clarified that Content ID will be a part of YouTube Gaming in a comically oppressive form. That is to say that your live stream can be taken down without warning if Content ID detects copyrighted music or a “copyright holder” (picture me doing very aggressive air quotes here) submits a take down request. As you can imagine this system will be abused, it will make mistakes, and it will frustrate a lot of potential streamers. Google’s response is a collective and haughty shrug.

But now they’ve gone too far.

Multiple reports from around the country point to evidence of Google testing out Content ID scanning drones. These robots have been hovering around homes and businesses in cities selected by major copyright-holding companies because of their propensity toward “violating” copyright laws and the DMCA.

These “Content Control Terminators,” as they are affectionately named by their inventors, will seek out and destroy offending copyright violators by listening for anyone foolish enough to cross them. If the Terminators’ identification software detects copyrighted music being played in any setting that could be considered public, they swoop down and into action to inflict searing hot justice.

Content Control Terminators are equipped with experimental, high powered laser beams that are capable of piercing through walls and destroying the source of the offending music and whoever was unlucky enough to be responsible for playing it in the first place. The drones release a focused beam of energy that almost instantly disintegrates speakers, computers, smart phones, and most terrifyingly – human skulls.

From a small town in the middle of Pennsylvania, Missy Teraflugzian tells us her story:

My husband was working as a DJ for a small 20 person wedding reception at a local restaurant when a Content ID drone must have overheard his music. I was there because I usually help him set up and take down his equipment. I witnessed what I can only describe as pure unadulterated horror. This drone wizzed and whirred into the restaurant and started reciting some kind of sentencing in a low-pitched, robotic voice. People were screaming so it was hard to hear, but it was something like, “You are being taken down for playing copyrighted music. The verdict: guilty. The sentence: death.” Then that little disappointed YouTube face that shows up on deleted videos popped up on a display atop the drone.

It wasted no time. Laser beams started firing out in every direction. Two were targeting and incinerating the PA system speakers, one was destroying his laptop, and another was set on the mixer. An off-duty police officer stood up started shouting something mostly incoherent at the Terminator, “I’ll be GAT-DAMNED if I let THE GOOGLE ruin this blessed day!” He fired several shots at the drone, but to no avail. The lasers continued on their mission.

After the music had stopped and the equipment was damaged beyond repair, the Content Control Terminator shifted and kept true on a path towards my husband. His last words were “GOOGLE! You… you SONSA BITCHES!” as the drone’s speakers continued callously chanting “The sentence: death” until it fired a single laser beam into his skull– killing him instantly. How could this happen to us?!

The Content ID drones have been causing horrors like the one described by Mrs. Teraflugzian for weeks now, and no one has been able to do anything about it to this point. Still, copyright holding companies are pleased with the early results of the CCT rollout and the sharp decline in their music being played publicly without expressed permission.

About The Author

John

John is a full-time web developer who writes and streams for multitoad.com. He started Multitoad with Luke "Yogzula" VanTrieste. John loves multiplayer gaming, his wife (known around the site as Queenie), his dog (Marble), horror movies, and sitting down with a nice craft beer. If you want to contact the author of this post, feel free to do so on the community forums.

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