Welcome to our latest edition of Rally Toad! Rally Toad will run weekly, but the day of the week has not been nailed down. If you have suggestions for the next Rally Toad, email me.

Wow, it’s been quite a long time since we’ve done one of these. I don’t like to make excuses, but I’m blaming the weather. Seriously. We’ve been hit by about 739,532 snow storms this season. It’s constantly below freezing around these parts, and I’ve given up on my New Year’s resolution of eating less than 12 donuts a day.

If you’ve been on the internet at all over the course of the last week, you’ve probably noticed that Sonic has a new game in the works. It’s got a 2 player co-op campaign, 4 player multiplayer modes, and a shameless bastardization of Sonic and his friends. What? Yeah, they are all designed differently from their retro counterparts, and a lot of people are not cool with it. I, on the other hand, find it funny. Why don’t we have a look?

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Tails doesn’t look too bad except for the fact that the headset makes no sense functionally. Knuckles must have started working out and experimenting with some powerful steroids. That’s… okay. Sonic has some kind of a scarf on, and WOAH, THOSE LEGS ARE NOT NATURAL!

Ok, so, what happened?

Theory #1: The years have not been kind to Sonic.

Sonic is a fast runner (duh). He started running back in 1991 (I was TWO!), and all of this running has taken it’s toll. Clearly, he’s a freak of nature and doesn’t age the same way we do, but apparently his legs stretched out. Look at that photo up there again.  WHAT HAPPENED? Was it all the leaping around? We can conclude that sonic will be doing a lot more hopping in this game.

Theory #2: Knuckles has become a body-building brute and it’s a cry for help.

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The Sonic team decided it needed a token knuckle-dragging* monster to join the fray. Clearly, this means we need Knuckles to undergo a transformation. If we were to narrate his backstory between games, I imagine we’d spin a tale of freakish, dangerously experimental growth hormone usage. You know how those instructional workout videos implore you to “NOT OVERDO IT” as they begin? Our friend Knuckles overdid it.

Theory #3: We’re all being trolled brilliantly.

Gamers are an opinionated bunch. Throw something controversial into the overreaction machine that is the internet and watch the pistons begin to fire. Sometimes, this is for good reason. We have to be defensive of our trade because there are still a lot of people out there that attack the medium and make up stories to suit their agenda. For instance, those who claim that video games cause violence in children despite no scientific proof to back it up. These claims are slander against our games, and therefore, slander against us.

Sometimes, we have to lash out aggressively at trends that are detrimental to the quality of our games. Other times, we just overreact. It could be that Sega and the Sonic team are just raising awareness in a very reliable form of viral marketing. They know these changes are absurd. They’re probably all sitting back at Sega Headquarters,** sipping coffee out of their Sonic mugs and laughing at each and every one of us. They have you right where they want you.

Moving on!

The Roundup

Multitoad is changing

We suggest you give Loadout, Power Stone 2, The Ship, and General Chaos a try.

We’re frustrated with Nintendo’s communication skills

The Evolve hype train is speeding up

Here’s how you make Nidhogg even more entertaining

Crazy Board Game of the Week: Pandemic

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In the event you all get chosen to team up and eradicate a series of quickly-spreading diseases, this game will show you if you and your three friends could manage to avoid the complete extinction of humanity. Each player draws a class, and each class has its own unique ability to utilize throughout the course of the game. In a nutshell, your goal is to work together, and stop the spread of the disease by finding a cure to all four viruses. If you don’t do it quickly enough, everyone dies. I hope you have smart friends.

Horror Movie of the Week: V/H/S and V/H/S/2

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Luke (A.K.A. Yogzula) and I revisited these movies, over the weekend, because it’s tradition to cap the night with some nasty horror flicks. Yeah, I’m aware that I chose two movies. However, it doesn’t really matter because they’re both anthologies. You could actually put them both together and have yourself one long movie if you really wanted to. We chose to skip around to our favorite “tapes.” Our consensus was that the slasher in the woods was the best of the bunch in the first anthology, while the cult ordeal was the best tape of the sequel.

The bizarre build up of the distorted killer in the woods stuck with me. There was something disturbing about the whole thing. I won’t get into it any further because its difficult to do so without spoiling it, but this is no slasher villain you’ve ever seen before. He’s abstract, unpredictable, and terrifying. The cult tape in the second V/H/S was also particularly jarring. If you have a fear of being trapped in a maze with a bunch of crazed lunatics, avoid at all costs.

The V/H/S tapes read more like a series of nightmares than actual stories. Each tape has a different director, which ends up being a huge strength. When you take a bunch of talented horror directors, tell them to focus all of their energy into one short film, and play each film in succession, this is your result.

Multiplayer Game I’m Currently Playing: Left 4 Dead 2

I broke this old girl out again recently, and there’s not much to say other than the fact that it’s still awesome. The Source engine is obviously in need of some updating, but that’s forgivable. My hope is that Turtle Rock comes back to Left 4 Dead to make a third, but Valve’s fear of the number 3 largely stifles that hope. If it does get made, let’s do Left 4 Dead 3 in space because SPACE BOOMERS!


 

Stay tuned! The Streaming Network page goes live this week.

* This bad pun was unintentional so BACK OFF.

** I don’t know if this is where the game is being made or if Sonic’s art director possesses this mug.

About The Author

John

John is a full-time web developer who writes and streams for multitoad.com. He started Multitoad with Luke "Yogzula" VanTrieste. John loves multiplayer gaming, his wife (known around the site as Queenie), his dog (Marble), horror movies, and sitting down with a nice craft beer. If you want to contact the author of this post, feel free to do so on the community forums.

5 Responses

  1. Luke VanTrieste
    Luke VanTrieste

    I really like the new knuckles design personally. It’s good character design. We’re all just used to the cloned animals who all have the same exact frame because it’s been like that.

    Reply

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