I wish Mario Kart was online so I could play with all of my friends whenever I want,” thought everyone ever.  Unless of course you have a more refined taste and thought, “I wish Diddy Kong Racing was online so I could play with all of my friends whenever I want.

Welcome to the future where the Nintendo cast has been replaced by hedgehogs and probable pedophiles in the love child of our favorite N64 racing games.  Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed takes the best of both worlds and slams them together into one adrenaline packed sandwich.  Don’t be fooled by its colorful appearance because SASRT isn’t just another party racing game made for kids as some people may have assumed after the first, second, or 50th time they glanced over it during a steam sale for $4.99.

Unlike its Nintendo predecessors, SASRT has managed to combine both fun and technical skill into a racing game, appealing to people of all skill levels.  The controls are a bit tricky to get the hang of (especially if you’re playing with a keyboard). However, you’ll find that once you do get them mastered that any amount of snowballs, rockets, explosive RC cars or swarms of bees won’t be enough to stand between you and victory.  Well, maybe the bees will.

The bees target the person in first place.  Not quite as bad as the blue turtle shell at least.

The swarm targets the person in first place

Sonic offers five different game modes to choose from that allow for up to 12 players.  The first mode is the traditional ‘pick up overpowered items from last place and bombard the hard working class that’s earned a place in front of you, but the government is giving you free handouts to level the playing field’ that we’re all familiar with (thanks Obama).

The second style of race is pretty much the same thing except that you can be eliminated if you take too much damage from other players. The same goes for the third mode where players face off in a battle arena trying to shoot balloons off of each others asses.

Things get interesting with the fourth game mode known as “Capture the Chao.”  You probably just asked yourself, “What the sam hell is a Chao?”  I have no fucking idea.  If you google image search “Sonic Chao,” you’ll find some very strange shit.  The point of the mode is that you are supposed to capture the chao and slam it down to score a touchdown at a randomly designated point.  Once a player touchdowns the Chao, it will spawn once more at a random point where everyone will race to kidnap it again.  The player with the most Chao captures after the clock runs out is declared the winner.  This mode takes the best things about battle race and battle arena and mashes them together into a mode that’s interesting and fun.

Apparently this is what a Chao is

Apparently this is what a Chao is.

The final play mode is ‘Boost Race,’ where players can put their technical abilities to the ultimate test without the crutch of super items to catch up to their enemies.  Tensions are high in this mode so approach it with caution if your friends have a tendency to get competitive with each other.  Boosting is a bit tricky at first, but when you learn how to drift and chain boosts together you’ll appreciate how much attention Sega put into making it an effective system.

The addition of boost pads on the race track isn’t new to racing games but it’s a welcome addition to the party racing genre due to how helpful it can be in recovering from a weapon barrage.  This mode is favored amongst players in the non-existent competitive scene for obvious reasons.  I’m surprised Sega didn’t give boost pads a chance to randomly explode your vehicle as a result of the trending anti-competitive gimmickry major developers have been tossing into games.

Water drifting is a thing

Water drifting is a thing now, get used to it.

Aside from not being able to join lobbies while in a group I honestly don’t have any complaints about this game.  I’m a little bit surprised I don’t hear more people talking about it with the love that Mario Kart gets. That’s probably a result of people still playing Nintendo 64 because they’re lost in their own nostalgia.  Let go.  For every good game on the N64 there is a modern game just like it that does everything better – except for Star Fox 64. Get your shit together, Nintendo.

I’m confident that Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed is a game that I will keep coming back to for years to come or until it gets replaced with something better.  Next time you see this game on sale for five dollars do yourself a favor and buy it, ya bonehead.

Credits to Faretis for the article image

About The Author


I'm into massive multiplayer online gaming communities. My online alter ego is 18 feet tall and has wings like an angels, but also like a demons. His name is Yogzula. Yogzula can fuck anything and he will and has. Women. Devils. Angels. Animals. If you meet me online by Grub's tavern, I will show you where the treasure is hidden.

2 Responses

  1. Whitemoon

    “I’m confident that Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed is a game that I will keep coming back to for years to come or until it gets replaced with something better.”

    Unless KartRider makes it way back to the U.S. but yeah seriously this game is so damn fun. Only complaint, which isn’t much of one, that unlocking characters can be a chore. Going through the campaign is pretty fun but you really have to limit yourself to it a bit or you will get burnt out.

  2. Luke VanTrieste
    Luke VanTrieste

    Yeah it does take a while. Thankfully the campaign is pretty great and is actually pretty challenging if you’re doing everything on expert difficulty. Kartrider was the shit back in the day and I have no idea why it was region locked to korea.


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